I’ve focused most­ly on the Book of Mor­mon, since I accept that it is the key­stone of the reli­gion, just as Joseph Smith, Jr stat­ed. The Book of Abra­ham and his oth­er trans­la­tions are close behind. Some of the oth­er top­ics that have affect­ed my testimony:

• Polyg­a­mous mar­riages of Joseph Smith, use of coer­cion, sev­er­al already married
• Coun­cil of the Fifty ordained as the gov­ern­ing body over the Earth, with Joseph as King
• Destruc­tion of the Nau­voo Expos­i­tor press, which was the rea­son Joseph was in jail
• Ques­tion­able restora­tion of the priest­hood, not men­tioned until five years after
• Tem­ple ordi­nance source and changes, includ­ing death penal­ties and oath of vengeance
• Lack of con­tin­ued rev­e­la­tion and lack of con­tin­u­ing “fruits of the spirit”
• Treat­ment of blacks
• Treat­ment of women
• Treat­ment of homosexuals

There is a sur­pris­ing amount of cred­i­ble infor­ma­tion avail­able on these top­ics that show a dif­fer­ent his­to­ry than many of us were taught. Please ask me about any of these or oth­er top­ics if you are interested.

I’m not real­ly sure where I am head­ed from here. I rec­og­nize that regard­less of the truth­ful­ness of the events in the Book of Mor­mon, there are beau­ti­ful and uplift­ing teach­ings that we should all take to heart. I no longer take that fact as proof of authen­tic­i­ty, since every oth­er reli­gious and many sec­u­lar books also con­tain many beau­ti­ful and uplift­ing mes­sages that can enrich our lives.

Socrates is attrib­uted as say­ing, “The more I learn, the more I learn how lit­tle I know.” I find that applies here. I am no longer as cer­tain about any­thing as I once was. At first, this was a scary place to be. For my whole life, I had such con­fi­dence that I knew the answers to all of life’s impor­tant ques­tions. I knew where I came from, why I was here, and what I need­ed to do to be where I want­ed to be for all eternity.

As I worked through this new real­i­ty, I came to terms with not being so sure about those ques­tions. I feel that I am now in even in a bet­ter place than I was when I had no doubt. It has opened my mind to see­ing my neigh­bors and co-work­ers not just as mem­bers or non-mem­bers, but as fel­low humans all stum­bling through this world, just try­ing to do our best. I have con­clud­ed that all I real­ly know is that we each have a chance in this short life to be good, hon­est peo­ple who help oth­ers, there­by leav­ing the world a lit­tle bet­ter than when we entered. I plan to keep my mind open to all truth, what­ev­er the source may be.

I would appre­ci­ate hear­ing any com­ments you may have had as you read this. You can either email me or use the “Com­ments” but­ton in the top right of this web page.