Born to apostatize

From a very ear­ly time, every­one in our ward knew I was going to hell. I tried to live up to the teach­ings of the church, but peo­ple could just look at me and see I was a born apos­tate. It must have been my sense of humor. For years I thought “sac­ri­le­gious” meant “hilar­i­ous.” When…

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No longer a member

I grew up in Utah in a Mor­mon house­hold. I was one of those who always asked why and was always told you just need to believe. That nev­er worked for me. When I went away to col­lege, I stopped going to church all togeth­er. I could nev­er believe in a church that was found­ed by…

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Meeting with Maxwell, the Special Witness

In 1993 I per­son­al­ly asked Neal Maxwell a ques­tion: “As an apos­tle of the lord Jesus Christ, have you seen the sav­ior?” He was embar­rassed and could not answer that ques­tion, he final­ly told me to read an arti­cle about some­one else’s dream. Many in high posi­tions feign author­i­ty from a self pro­claimed impor­tance. Neal…

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Letter to Bishop & Stake President

This is my first post so I should intro­duce myself. I met my wife to be, in the last year of high school and mar­ried her when we were both 19. My wife came from an LDS fam­i­ly with her father serv­ing as Bish­op at the time. I was bap­tized into the church about 6…

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I’m Still Angry

(orig­i­nal post found at www​.most​ly​mor​mon​.com) This is that angry let­ter you write and then tear up, only I’m not going to. Maybe instead I should go to the garage and beat on a punch­ing bag or go shoot some guns, but I don’t own a punch­ing bag and my new­ly devel­oped lib­er­al­ism has me a lit­tle uncer­tain about…

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What it’s Like to Leave…

Brown patch­es in the lawn. Gar­den weeds. Melt­ed bub­ble gum strings draped across my black car bumper. The nag­ging sting of a sun­burn on my shoul­ders. Chil­dren shriek­ing at the cold water erupt­ing from a sprin­kler placed strate­gi­cal­ly beneath a tram­po­line. Proof that life has moved on. Proof that a dras­tic and ter­ri­fy­ing change in…

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Thanks TSCC, thanks for nothing

I would just to like thank the TSCC for ruin­ing my mar­riage by pub­lish­ing the essays. Because of the essays I now think that my won­der­ful wife of 11 years is an indoc­tri­nat­ed sheeple who won’t face the facts that it is all a big lie. I think she is stay­ing because she is to scared…

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I’m offended, I want to sin and I’m happy to admit it.

I’m offend­ed: that LDS Inc. is more LDS Inc. than church. by racism by homo­pho­bia by misog­y­ny by sex­ism that’s harm­ful to both men and women by sex­u­al per­ver­sion that my son was taught to be a lit­er­al arm and head-chop­ping war­rior for a sup­pos­ed­ly all pow­er­ful being that JS, a wom­an­iz­er, sex­u­al preda­tor, child…

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Unexpected Results

Three weeks ago, I was a true believ­er. I was­n’t the best at church atten­dance, but I would look for­ward to the days I could go and I would sit, rapt and eager, lis­ten­ing to the lessons and talks. I read the scrip­tures. I have a large library of Nib­ley, Tal­mage, etc… things con­sid­ered “deep”…

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Eyes Opened by my Mission

10 years ago today I left to become a full time mis­sion­ary for the LDS church. In doing so I left behind home, fam­i­ly and my teenage sweet­heart Tama­ra for a 2 year peri­od in which I was allowed to com­mu­ni­cate with them once a week by post and twice a year by tele­phone. No Skype. No…

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